Igniting the Spark (Daughter of Fire Book 4) Page 21

  I nodded. “I’ll go for a walk before bed.” I didn’t even want to think about the possible sleeping arrangements—it wasn’t like there were many options in our room. Despite the size of the quarters, we only had our bed and a small two-seater sofa. We’d never needed more than that. I couldn’t exactly ask Aiden or any of the fae for another bed now, not after being so vehement in my assertions that Clay’s memories had returned and he was my husband once more.

  “I was thinking about going to see Eth before we go anyway. Maybe I’ll just do it tonight instead of the morning.” I paused for a moment as I considered leaving Clay alone with our babies. I could, but I want to be with them. Even as I had the thought, it occurred to me that Ethan would want to meet them. “I think I’ll take the twins.”

  His eyes darted to mine and flashed with fire again. “Because as the imposter, I can’t be trusted with them, right?”

  I wanted more than anything to take back the words that had accidentally slipped from me. They’d worsened a situation that was already bad enough.

  “No, it’s not that.” Crazily, despite the fact that less than a day earlier he’d been trying to kill me, I actually did trust him. At least, I trusted him with David and Ava. He’d shown almost as much concern for their welfare as I felt. “I just thought Eth might want to meet them before we leave the court.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m sorry. About before. I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t.” He cut me off again. “You may not have meant for it to insult me, but you meant what you said. I’m just the poor man’s Clay to you, aren’t I?”

  I couldn’t answer him but was certain the tears that had sprung to my eyes told him that he’d hit the mark. As willing as I was to help him, the simple inescapable fact was that he wasn’t my husband anymore. I could almost understand why Fiona had been so willing to turn her back on him. He wasn’t the man I’d been to hell and back for. That was my issue though, and I didn’t intend to make him feel like he was inferior to a memory.

  Swallowing my pride and concern, I decided to offer him friendship—he deserved that much. “Did you want to come with me to see Ethan? I’m sure I can push my luck a little to have it allowed.”

  “I just need some space right now. And some time to think.”

  I nodded before turning back to the twins. Before I’d even been able to reach for either of them, Clay had picked up Ava and had placed her into the stroller where he was trying, and failing, to fasten the restraints. Knowing that a misplaced chuckle wouldn’t help matters, I tried not to laugh at his struggles as I picked David up and put him in the stroller too. After a little bit of work, both of the babies were in and settled. I flipped the top back so that I could see them both as I walked.

  Pushing the stroller through the halls of the court was an odd experience. Despite the late hour, I could feel the curious stares directed at us with every step I took. No less than six fae guards had watched on silently as I left the room. I guessed Aiden had stationed them there as he still didn’t trust Clay. I was glad Clay had stormed into the bathroom and not out of the room.

  By the time I reached the healing rooms, I was relieved to be out of the halls. The overbearing silence of the night, added with the weight of curious stares, was oppressive and made the hallways unwelcoming—or maybe that was just my imagination and guilt.

  When Ethan saw me walking into the room, he shifted a little higher in his bed and smiled. High on his left shoulder, just beneath his collarbone, a white bandage covered a wound. No doubt the entry point of an arrow shot by Clay. The same man who had moved into our shared quarters.

  For the first time since hearing his confession, I felt a stab of fear over the man I’d let back into my life—the man I was defending to anyone and everyone who would listen, and even some who wouldn’t.

  “Look, Evie, we match,” Ethan said, pulling me from my thoughts. He pointed to his wound and grinned the way only someone who’d been face-to-face with death before could.

  I pressed my fingers against my own now-healed scar. “Almost. Although mine’s a little lower.” Directly over my heart. “It’s a good thing we don’t match completely or you might not be here for me to talk to now.”

  He waved me off. “Don’t be silly. But did I hear the healers right earlier? Twins?”

  I nodded. “Crazy, huh?”

  “A bit. I see you brought me some visitors.”

  “Well, I’m not crazy enough to walk around pushing an empty stroller. Not yet anyway.”

  “I thought you said it wasn’t going to happen today,” he accused jovially.

  “Yesterday.” It was hard to believe that it was well after midnight and the craziest, but somehow most wonderful, day of my life was already behind me.

  He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. You said you weren’t due for weeks.”

  I shrugged. “I guess running for your life speeds these things up a bit.”

  “I’m sorry, I should have been watching out more when I left. Maybe the little fucker wouldn’t have got the drop on me then.”

  His words and the bandage on his shoulder were souvenirs that prompted me to remember that a little over twelve hours earlier, Clay had been a major threat to me. It was as if an uncaring universe evidence planted evidence in front of me to prove to me that Clay still dangerous. And that I didn’t really know who he was anymore. If nothing else, he was a volatile influence I couldn’t rely on.

  “Where is he anyway? I know he’s in the court. Mack says he’s got his memory back.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, he’s back.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but somehow lying to Ethan about Clay’s return was worse than any other time I’d said it. Maybe because he was in the healing rooms because of Clay. “He wasn’t sure how you’d feel about him visiting,” I added, piling more lies on top of the first. “He feels bad that he tried to kill you.” At least that part was true.

  Ethan snorted. “As if he could kill me. I would have had his ass if he’d tried it without the element of surprise.”

  I knew it was false bravado, but I let it go and tried to change the subject. “So did you want to meet Ava and David?”

  Ethan looked a little worried. “I don’t really do the whole babies thing.”

  “Well, you might have to get used to it. God knows how many you’ve fathered in your time,” I deadpanned.

  “Hardy har har.” He twisted in place to get a better view inside the stroller. I offered to pass him one of the babies, but he shook his head with what looked like genuine fear on his features. I could see what he was thinking printed clearly across his face. He was a hunter, someone skilled at death, and the twins seemed so small and fragile, especially asleep. It was understandable that he’d be worried he’d break them.

  “Seriously, though, they’ll always be your nephew and niece, so you might as well get used to them. Even if Clay hadn’t come back,” or if he leaves, “I always hoped you’d be a big part of their lives.”

  “Of course, they’re family.” He met my gaze. “You all are. But maybe they’ll be a little more family when they’re just a bit bigger.” He risked another glance at the babies.

  It was a far cry from the hunter who’d chased me through Charlotte and forced me to leap from the car to save my life. “Thank you.”

  “How are you doing? You look tired.”

  I bit back on the sarcastic comment that I wanted to make. Of course I’m tired. I squeezed two human beings out of my vagina after running for my life yesterday. Instead, I answered with something less likely to offend. “I’m okay.”

  His expression warned me that he wasn’t buying it. “What’s wrong?”

  “I think the sunbird might be awake already in Ava.” I was relieved to finally be able to voice one of the concerns I’d had for so long. Ever since the first time the fire had raced through my veins in the moments before she’d been born.

  “Already? But I thought Clay said that it only woke in two situatio
ns.”

  “Yeah, true love or mortal danger.”

  “You think she recognized the danger when you were attacked?”

  I nodded. “It’s the only explanation I can think of, but it worries me. I was barely able to control the fire when the sunbird woke in me and I was seventeen. How am I going to cope with a child who can set things on fire when she gets cranky?”

  “Has she—”

  “Not yet,” I cut him off. “But she’s running so hot each time she’s upset that I’m certain it’s only a matter of time.”

  “What’s Clay think?”

  I dropped my head into my hands.

  “You haven’t told him yet?”

  “I don’t know how.” I glanced up at Ethan and instantly realized my mistake. I didn’t know how to tell Clay because I didn’t think the new Clay would understand what it was to be a phoenix. The risk was that he might think our daughter was a threat. He’d tried to kill his own brother to get to me based on the hearsay of this father. I couldn’t trust that her being his child would be enough to stop him hurting her. “I don’t want to worry him about it with everything else that’s been going on,” I added quickly.

  “If there’s one thing I know about my brother, it’s that it’ll worry him more if you don’t talk to him. He’ll know you’re keeping a secret. He has a sense for it. Besides, if it’s that obvious to you, he probably already knows.”

  Could he already know? Clay had held both Ava and David; surely it would have been impossible for him not to notice the difference in temperature between the two. “I think you’re right. I should talk to him.” I grabbed the stroller.

  “You’re leaving now?”

  I nodded. “I have to talk to Clay.”

  “But you just got here.”

  “It’s late. You should be sleeping.”

  He twisted his mouth in disgust. “That’s all I’m allowed to do in here.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You look like you’re dead on your feet anyway.”

  I nodded. “I’m starting to feel that way.”

  “You should bring Clay here tomorrow so I can kick his ass for running off like he did in Alaska.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” I knew Clay couldn’t risk any major time with his brother without tipping him off to the fact that his memory hadn’t actually returned. Although Ethan usually took Clay’s side, he had less reason to be forgiving than Louise in this case. “We’re supposed to be organizing our trip home though, so we may not be able to get here.”

  “Home? I didn’t think they’d let Clay leave until, well, you know…”

  “Ava isn’t coping well on the ethereal plane.”

  A frown tugged at his brow. His concern for her welfare was reassuring.

  “Mackenzie’s certain she’ll be fine once we’re home. I’m sure she’ll check on her again once we’re settled.”

  “Don’t worry about me then, it sounds like you’ve got enough on your plate.”

  “Thanks. You will look after yourself, though, won’t you?”

  He grinned. “It’s just a scratch.”

  I scoffed. “Sure.”

  “I’ll see you when they let me out of here.”

  “Make sure you’re listening to their instructions in the meantime.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Although can you believe they expect me to stay celibate until this is healed?”

  Of course that would be his one real complaint.

  After saying goodbye, I headed back to see if Clay had recovered from my accidental insult. By the time I arrived, he was curled up on the tiny sofa facing away from the door.

  When I glanced at the huge bed, my stomach twisted. I had so much room and he had none. For a moment, I debated waking him up and inviting him to share the space, but I wasn’t certain my unconscious self would respect the distance we needed to keep between us.

  Well, I guess that sorts out the sleeping arrangements at least.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  THE TWINS BOTH woke at the same time, their piercing cries pulling me immediately from sleep. I raced to the crib, uncertain whether there was a major issue. Motherhood wasn’t natural for me—I had no idea how I’d ever learn their different cries.

  By the time I reached the crib, Clay was there beside me.

  “Hi,” I said awkwardly as I reached for David who was screaming the loudest.

  His lip twitched upward. “Hi.”

  “About earlier. I really am sorry about what I said.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I should be appreciative for what you’re doing for me and for the fact that you didn’t kill me when you had the chance.”

  “I couldn’t. Not even to save my own life.” I glanced over to the photo of us together the day before we went into the Rain headquarters. “I guess that makes me weak.”

  “No.” He shuffled Ava in his arms to free one hand, which he placed on my arm. “I think it makes you strong.”

  A small smile crept across my features. “I might need the sofa for a while. If you like, you can take the bed until I’m done.”

  “I might stay up with Ava for a while. Keep her entertained while you feed David.”

  THE TWINS woke up a few more times during the night. They were feeding every few hours at the most. Each time the babies cried out, Clay was awake and right beside me by the time I got to them. When they’d been settled again, he climbed back into his ridiculous curled position on the too-small two-seater.

  “Clay?” I called out quietly after the third time we’d all woken. I could see the sun starting to rise behind the opaque walls, but I also knew we all needed a little more sleep than we’d had.

  “Yeah?”

  “The bed is big enough for both of us.”

  “I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”

  “We can make a wall out of the sofa cushions if it would make you feel better. I just can’t sleep knowing how uncomfortable you must be.”

  Only the sound of our breathing filled the room.

  “Please?”

  He huffed out a breath. “Fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Why does it matter so much to you?” he asked as he moved across the room.

  “Because you might be the poor man’s Clay, but you’re still Clay. Besides, we might need to move some furniture around tomorrow at home to make room for two of everything and you can’t do that if you’ve got a cricked neck, which means it’ll be on me, and I really don’t want to do that.”

  “So it’s purely a selfish request.” I could hear a creeping smile enter in his voice.

  “Absolutely.”

  “So long as that’s all it is.”

  I offered a quiet chuckle. “Clay?” I asked again when the other side of the bed dip as he climbed in.

  “Yeah?”

  “Good night.”

  “Night, Evie.”

  THE NEXT time I woke, I was alone, draped across Clay’s side of the bed. My face was buried in a pillow that held a faint trace of the scent that had always comforted me. The only conclusion I could come to was that I’d migrated toward him in my sleep and driven him away. I lifted my head to see if he’d found his way back to the sofa, but it was empty too.

  The door to the bathroom was ajar and the light was on. I could hear a mumbled voice coming from the room and my curiosity grew. I pushed the covers aside and padded toward the open door.

  “No, not yet.” Clay’s voice was little more than a quiet whisper.

  I almost turned away to give him his privacy, but the question of whom he could be talking to burned in my mind.

  “I found a better solution.”

  Standing as still as I could, I listened to the one-sided conversation.

  “Yeah. I found them.”

  I began to suspect who he might have been talking to, but I refused to accept it.

  “I think I can. They trust me.”

  The implication in his words sent my heart gal
loping in my chest.

  “I just need a little more time.” Clay’s voice grew quieter, as if he’d turned away from the open door.

  I stepped forward a little to hear him better and accidentally pushed the door open.

  Clay swung around instantly and stared straight at me. He didn’t hesitate or try to hide. He met my gaze without any remorse as he continued. “She doesn’t suspect anything.” He pressed his finger against his lips to signal that I shouldn’t call out.

  The blood rushing around my body sped faster still. Only a handful of people could be on the other end of the call. There was one person in particular I was worried he was in contact with: his dad. I tried to swallow, but I couldn’t because my heart filled my throat.

  He’s not on our side at all.

  I backed away from Clay, my fingertips searching for the door so that I could force it between us and aid my escape. Before I could get very far, Clay leapt forward and yanked the door shut behind me. A squeak slipped past my lips, and he pressed his hand over my mouth to silence me.

  He tilted his head to the side. His eyes pleaded with me, begging me to understand something unspoken. “It’s all going perfectly according to plan.”

  I wasn’t sure whether his words were meant for me or his father.

  “I think it’ll be a few more weeks, but I can already tell they’ll both put their family first and see my side.”

  Despite having his hand over my mouth, Clay’s palm barely grazed my lips. It wasn’t a threatening hold. Between the gentle touch and the pleading look in his gaze, I was willing to keep still and silent while I worked out what the hell was going on.

  More than that, the handful of steps he’d taken to close the door left him so close to me. Combined with the feeling of his fingertips on my cheek, it was intoxicating. Willing to wait before I made a hasty decision, I closed my eyes and tried to still my panic.