Seal of Fate Read online

  The pair travelled down two floors and headed through another corridor before Paddy announced they’d arrived and showed her into their third-class berth. It contained basic lodgings; two single beds stacked one on top of the other along one wall, a cabinet with a sink at the back of the room, and a single metal chair near the door. It was small, but despite the size, it appeared comfortable enough. It would likely be more comfortable than the house they had left behind.

  “This is our home for the week,” Paddy said, patting the top bed. “Aren’t ya excited now that our trip’s underway?”

  “I need a little fresh air,” she said rather than answering his question. The truth was the rocking of the ocean waves beneath her feet, however, reduced it might’ve been due to the size of the ship, was too much for her to handle without the ache in her heart growing exponentially. “I might find the deck and go for a walk.”

  “I’ll come with ya.”

  She sighed. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Are ya sure?”

  “I’m not going to jump.” Her words carried more irritation than she’d intended, but she’d been unable to contain it. She turned to walk out of the room.

  He grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “I’d just like a few minutes alone. Please?”

  He opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut again and nodded. “I’ll get us sorted in here.”

  She made her way back toward the stairways, working to familiarise herself with her surroundings and the myriad doors and corridors. She followed the scent of the ocean to find her way to fresh air. After climbing four sets of stairs, she located the Poop Deck and the third class promenade.

  Children ran around and played together, enjoying their moments in the sun before nightfall. Rows of seats sat throughout the area, hard surfaces for sure but good enough to rest weary legs.

  She found one as close to the rails as she could and rested on it.

  For a moment, she stared out at the horizon. The landmass that she had considered her home on land, even before Paddy had stolen her, had disappeared quickly after the journey started. Now, she was surrounded by blue—cornflower above her and a deepening navy beneath as the ship travelled further out to sea.

  Closing her eyes, she turned her face up toward the sky. Although the April sun held little warmth, her mind travelled back to summers spent sunning herself with her parents and sisters.

  Her life had been so much simpler then. Her worries had consisted of nothing but catching food and ensuring she remained hidden from people who wished to do her harm. She’d failed at the latter.

  As she let her mind wander, the sound of children playing grew louder in her ears.

  When she eventually opened her eyes again, she had no idea how much time had passed, but she wasn’t alone.

  The woman from the line at Queenstown was seated beside her. The lady’s dark irises were kind but turned down as if she was marred by a permanent sorrow.

  “Good afternoon,” she said to Mariely. “Are you settling in well?”

  Mariely stared at her. She’d never had anyone approach her and strike up a conversation without Paddy beside her. She didn’t trust people. Not after that day on the beach and the loss of her family.

  “I’m sorry,” the woman said, breaking the silence that extended a tad too long to be appropriate for civilised conversation. “I didn’t mean any offence. You just looked a little lonely when I saw you earlier.”

  “There’s no need to apologise, miss,” Mariely said. “I’m just not used to talking to new people. My husband and I, we lived in a rural area.”

  “Sounds lonely.” The woman gave her an understanding smile.

  Mariely smiled in spite of herself. “I guess it was a little.”

  “I’m Margaret,” she said. “And these are my boys, Albert, George, Eric, Arthur, and Frank.” She pointed to each of her sons in turn, ending with the one in her lap. The boys must have ranged between two and ten.

  “I’m Mar—” She paused as she tried to decide whether to give her real name or the one Paddy insisted she used. “Mariely.”

  Chapter Three

  IT WAS ALMOST dusk when Paddy finally interrupted Mariely’s conversation. He’d made his way to the Poop Deck earlier to try to put his mind at ease that she hadn’t run away and had found her deep in conversation with another woman. He hadn’t wanted to interrupt because his wife was smiling for the first time since the last time she’d seen her sisters. It was no secret that she hated him.

  She didn’t understand though, he truly had saved her from a worst fate—one that would have been of his making but that would have seen her suffer extensively.

  The day he’d seen her dancing with her sisters, he had wanted to leave the three women alone to continue their fun—like he had every other year that he’d seen them. He would have been content to watch the magical motions of the girls, particularly the youngest who had grown more beautiful in the years he’d been watching. The first time he’d seen them, when he was just a lad, he hadn’t understood what he had stumbled across. Over the years, he’d learned all about the folklores of the seal people.

  Unfortunately, the men he had been drinking and gambling with before he noticed the date had followed him and caught sight of the girls as well. They didn’t see the sight in nearly the same way he did, particularly after he’d drunkenly admitted what the women were and how they could be caught. In the moments that followed, his companions proved themselves far more cruel and dangerous than he had ever imagined as they suggested kidnapping all three women.

  Although he couldn’t save her sisters, he had managed to convince the men that Mariely should go home with him. It had cost him many shillings, money he’d agreed to pay to ensure she was safe.

  Even now, he still owed the pair too much of it, and they’d visited often to remind him of the overdue funds. During their last visit, they had threatened to take Mariely away if he didn’t pay them in full by the end of the month and it was impossible to ignore them any longer.

  That was the reason he’d sold all of his possessions to purchase the tickets on the Titanic. After their arrival in New York, he would be able to take Mariely anywhere and disappear.

  Even after three years, he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.

  She hated him and he loved her.

  Their dance continued onward, the twisting of love around hate as the gaps between them filled with memories and doubt. She grew more resentful that he wouldn’t let her go and he grew angrier that she couldn’t understand what he had done for her.

  There were days where he could almost convince himself they were a typical married couple. Those days were fewer and farther between with each passing month. It was the reason he’d hoped the journey to the Americas might have given them a chance to try again.

  “Mary,” he said, interrupting the two women, using the name that he had given Mariely in public so no one would assume what she really was. He would have left them talking for longer just to get another glimpse of Mariely’s smile, but worried they might miss their first meal on the ship. “Are ya ready for some dinner?”

  She cast her eyes downward instead of meeting his gaze as she nodded.

  “It was lovely meeting you, Margaret,” Mariely said as she stood to follow Paddy.

  “Please, call me Maggie.” The woman gave Mariely a winning smile before scowling at Paddy.

  What had Mariely been telling her new friend?

  Paddy clenched his jaw so he didn’t lose his temper and turned away from the pair without waiting for his wife to follow.

  Mariely fell into step behind him. “I’m sorry for taking so long. I lost track of time.”

  “I don’t mind,” he said, slowing so he could walk at her side. His words were true, though he doubted she would believe them.

  They walked in silence to the dining room on F-Deck before taking their place among the long tables. Paddy moved to hold Mariely’s hand, but she slipped her han
d onto her lap.

  “Will ya eat something, love?” he asked when he noticed she wasn’t eating. It couldn’t have been the quality of the food, it was better than anything he’d been able to put on their table in recent months. She had to be hungry too considering it would be their first meal of the day.

  She stabbed at a piece of meat before lifting her fork to her mouth.

  Duty and not desire drove her actions—just like in the bedroom. He clenched his jaw tighter and curled his fingers into tight fists. He wanted to scream that she should be happy. That he’d saved her life. That he loved her and why couldn’t she see that. Only, he worried that those admissions would make him seem weak to everyone around him.

  More than that, he worried that she might take all of that as a reason to hate him more than ever. He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths.

  After a few more bites of her meal, Mariely declared she wasn’t hungry any longer.

  Letting his frustration boil over, he pushed away from the table. “We need to go for a walk.”

  He gripped her arm, the sensation of touching her racing through his body as always. It was enough to drive him insane as lust coursed through him. He had little doubt it was something to do with her true nature, but he was certain each time he let that drive overtake him, it was driving them further apart. Particularly after their unions resulted in tragic pregnancies, driving yet more resentment between them.

  He dragged her back to their room, thankful that they had secured one of the two-bedroom berths and didn’t need to share with anyone else. It meant he could speak his mind freely and not need to temper his words to avoid giving away their truth.

  “What do ya think yer doing?” he snapped as soon as they were alone. “Why can’t ya just live a normal life?”

  She stared at her knees rather than looking at him. It set fire to his blood.

  “Look at me!” He smashed his fist against the side of the top bed.

  Her gaze lifted and flashed with disgust as she met his. “I am being the dutiful wife you asked for. What more do you want from me?”

  “I want ya to be happy!”

  “How is this”—she waved her hands between them—“supposed to make me happy?”

  He reached for her hand and pulled it to his chest. “Then tell me how to make ya happy. That’s all I want.”

  She flexed her jaw and set her chin. “You know exactly what you can do to make me happy.”

  “Will ya be happy though? Alone. Unable to find yer family or rely on anyone. How long do ya think ya’ll survive?”

  “I would be happy to try my luck.” Despite her words, she left her hand on his chest.

  He closed the distance between them, boxing her in against the beds. “Tell me again that ya don’t want this. Tell me that ya don’t want to be with me.”

  She blinked at him as her breath sped. Her gaze dropped to his mouth. Before he could press her again, her lips were on his.

  He loved her.

  She hated him.

  But she was unable to resist the fire between them.

  He took every piece of affection she offered, dragging her down onto the lower bunk after stripping her clothes away.

  Chapter Four

  WHEN MARIELY WOKE the next morning, she was in the top bunk of the bed in the cabin. For the first few moments of consciousness, before she’d even opened her eyes, she was almost able to convince herself she was back in the ocean.

  The moment she opened her eyes and saw the roof of her cabin, the steel and rivets coated with fresh white paint, it was impossible to deny where she was. She took a moment to consider the events of the night before. To the moment she’d let disgust burn to desire. It was something that had passed between them too many times in their history. There was a fine line between love and hate, after all, and both inspired passion. The two of them fit together perfectly, which only made him hold onto her harder.

  She had been his first, and he wanted her to be his only.

  After climbing from the top bed, she checked on Paddy and found him still sleeping. Instead of waking him, she crept out to the deck again.

  It was still dark when she climbed onto the deck. The hour early enough to still be almost indecent so the seats were empty. At least apart from a young couple, newlyweds perhaps, sitting deep in conversation on the other side of the ship. She stood and watched their gentle interactions for a few moments. As she did, she wondered whether they had awakened earlier than her and rushed up onto the deck to be together, or whether they had perhaps been so caught up in their shared moment that they’d stayed up all night to enjoy each other.

  Turning her back on the pair, Mariely found her way toward the barrier around the deck, trying to get as close to the ocean as she could. Far below her, the propellers forced them through the water. In the darkness, it was impossible to see the details but the pre-dawn grey light reflected off the churn. Despite the distance between her and the ocean, she could imagine being back in there. She leaned over the rail, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The hit of sea salt on the air wasn’t enough to satisfy her need.

  Despite that, it was more refreshing than the sleep she’d had the night before. When the sun crested over the horizon and the first rays cast their gentle warmth on her skin. It called to mind summers spent with her sisters and for a moment, she was able to exist in the past. For seventeen years, her little pod was all she knew. Money, clothing, transport, people; all of that had been meaningless until Paddy had come into her life.

  With that thought, she returned to her present situation. She pushed herself back onto the deck and sighed. Paddy didn’t have a job in America. He didn’t have much of a plan at all outside of getting away from the farm he worked on.

  She turned around to head back to her cabin. As she spun around, she locked eyes with Paddy. He was standing a few feet away and staring at her with an enigmatic expression on his face.

  “I thought I might find ya here,” he said when he caught her gaze.

  “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough to have seen the look on yer face. The longing to be free.”

  “I wasn’t going to jump,” she said, instinctively defending herself.

  He moved to stand at the barrier beside her. “I hate seeing ya like this,” he admitted. “I don’t want to lose ya, but I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

  She turned around and faced the ocean at his side. “You stole me from my family, kept me in a house miles away from any beach, and are now dragging me halfway across the world, but you don’t want me to feel trapped?”

  “I saved yer life.”

  “You stole my life!” she screamed back at him.

  “Will ya calm down? Let’s go to the saloon for some breakfast.”

  Any other time, she probably would have stepped behind him and followed along like a dutiful wife. Now though, with the brine of the sea filling her lungs and reinvigorating memories of her freedom, she couldn’t. “No.”

  He’d already turned around and was headed for the stairs. Her single word stopped him in his tracks. “What?”

  “I said no. I want to stay on deck. I want to feel the sun and the sea breeze.”

  “You need to eat.”

  “I need the sustenance of the ocean more than I need any food.”

  “I’ll wait with you.”

  She stepped away from him and shook her head. “I just need to be alone.”

  He stood at her side.

  “Leave me alone,” she said in a softer tone. More people were gathering on the deck and she didn’t want to call more attention to them. “Please?”

  He flexed his jaw and stared at her.

  “I’ll meet you in the General Room after breakfast.” She rested her hand over his arm to coax him into agreeing.

  He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Keep yerself safe and don’t go anywhere else.”

  She nodded. “Of course.”

>   As he walked away, she turned back to the ocean. The sun, now a little higher in the sky, had displaced the starlight from above and scattered it the low waves and churn from the propeller. Tiny twinkling lights blinked up at her from the ocean.

  She leaned over the rail once more, climbing as far as she could without risking going over the side.

  Around her, the ship came fully to life as everyone finished their breakfast and came for their daily constitutional. She tried to block out the sounds and instead focused on the hum of the engines, the churn of the propeller, and the crash of the sea against the hull.

  “It’s a beautiful view from here, isn’t it?” Maggie stood next to her, her youngest babe in her arms.

  “Stunning.”

  “I’ve always loved the ocean.” A smile graced Maggie’s lips as she turned to check on her boys who were playing together on the deck.

  “Me too,” Mariely admitted. “It’s been too long since I’ve been near it.”

  “I believed as much. The way you look out to the horizon, well it’s something I’ve seen before, on the faces of wives waiting for their husbands to return from sea. Only, your husband is right here on the ship.”

  Mariely stared into the ocean. “Yeah. That he is.”

  “If you’ll forgive my intrusion on your private life, he looks at you as if he can’t believe you’re in front of him.”

  Mariely couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her lips. There was truth to the words, and she understood that, but it didn’t change the situation.

  “He appears to be a fine young gentleman,” Maggie pushed.

  “He certainly does appear that way,” Mariely agreed.

  “You’re not happy?”

  “It’s not so much that I am not happy.” Mariely had no idea how Maggie was able to reassure her and coax information out of her, but she could. In fact, it was a relief to finally speak the words she kept trapped inside for so long to someone else. “I look out there”—she pointed out to the open ocean—“and wish I could go explore.”